If Wishes Were Fishes
by meganechan720
Summary: Shenron isn't the only one who grants wishes. DBZ/xxxHolic crossover, in which Vegeta finds Yuuko's prices a bit too high for his liking.
1. Immortality

He came to himself standing in the courtyard of a building he had never seen before. Where was he? Where had he been before? Was he on a purging mission? No, he'd gone to Earth, and…

Now he remembered.

"Kakarot," he growled, fists curling by his sides. He remembered the battle, clearer than he wanted to, though his memory after that felt fuzzy and disjointed. He concluded that he was dreaming. One did not often dream in stasis, but it did happen. He must be in his pod, in a healing sleep, and he was dreaming. Yes. That was why he didn't remember coming here. It had to be.

"Oh, hello. You must be a customer."

He snapped his gaze around to see a tall thin boy with a silly-looking kerchief on his head, sweeping the front yard. Birds were singing, and the sun was shining brightly. All in all, far too pleasant a scene for his subconscious to have come up with. Suspicion began to grow.

"I am nothing of the sort," he told the boy. "What is this place?"

"Well, I guess you could say this is a shop that sells a little of everything," the boy said, and Vegeta snorted.

"Don't waste my time. Is this a brothel, or do you deal in narcotics? Either way, I have no use for such things."

"My assistant speaks the truth, if vaguely," a low, velvety female voice said as the boy sputtered and turned red at Vegeta's accusation. He looked up to find a very tall woman in an elegant kimono standing in the doorway, regarding him with a smile that reminded him uncomfortably of Frieza, or a cat.

"Then what _do_ you sell here?" Vegeta demanded.

"We deal in nothing more, and nothing less, than the deepest, most desperate desires of the heart," she said, still in that low, carrying voice. "To be plain: this is a shop that grants wishes, and I am Yuuko, the shopkeeper."

Vegeta snorted again, though with less conviction. There was an odd feeling to this place; otherworldly, though he could not put his finger on what exactly felt odd about it. Neither the boy nor the woman had high power levels, but the woman's ki felt a little like she was hiding her true power; though, again, he could not say precisely what made him think this. If this was a dream, it was an unusually vivid one.

"I was told that to have a wish granted I needed the dragon balls. Now you say I can simply buy one in a shop. Sorry, but I think I'll stick to magical orbs."

"And how is that working for you?" she purred, and Vegeta narrowed his eyes.

"What do you mean?" he demanded, and she smiled a slow smile.

"The fact that you found your way here means that you have a wish you desire to be granted. You speak of another means of granting wishes, and yet here you are, desire intact." She let the implication hang in the air for a moment before continuing. "There are many ways and means of having a wish granted, and it is true that some are…" She paused again, and the slow smile deepened along with the dread in his chest. "Simpler than others," she finished. "My shop here is one of the more straightforward means."

Vegeta regarded her with his full attention, and she looked calmly back into his eyes, still with that disturbing smile on her lips. Behind her he could see two small children peeking from behind the doorway.

"You have the power to grant my wish?" he said finally, not daring to hope. She inclined her head.

"Why don't you come inside so we can discuss the matter?" Yuuko turned aside and gestured to the door. "Watanuki? Bring us some refreshment. Maru? Moro? Do stop staring, dears, it's not polite."

The boy rushed off and the two children squeaked and disappeared into the shop. Vegeta followed his host inside, alert and on guard, as much out of habit as because he was still not completely convinced this was a dream. When she offered him sake he refused, and did not eat the snacks placed in front of him.

"I don't require food," he said urgently. "Tell me how you can grant my wish."

Yuuko swirled her cup of sake and gazed at him thoughtfully. The boy was standing off to the side, demurely holding his tray and looking at the floor, though Vegeta was not fooled into thinking he wasn't paying close attention.

"I must warn you," Yuuko said. "I will require payment."

Vegeta scoffed.

"That won't be a problem."

"I do not speak of money," Yuuko warned. "The price must be equal in value to the wish granted. No more, and no less."

"What sort of price do you require for immortality?" Vegeta challenged.

"Immortality, hmm?" Yuuko sipped her drink. "A simple enough wish to grant. But one with a high price." She leaned forward, giving Vegeta a piercing look. "Immortality is no game. To never die? To see everyone you know and love pass on before you? To never know the sweet rest of death yourself? In many ways, immortality is its own price."

"Then grant it to me and be done with it!"

"Not so fast. I still require payment."

"Then name your price, woman!" Vegeta snarled. The smile did not falter.

"The price I would require in exchange for immortality is nothing more and nothing less than your most important relationship with another person."

Vegeta recoiled.

"What the hell does that mean? I don't have a relationship with anyone!"

"By relationship, I do not mean only positive emotions. You can have a very strong connection with someone you hate. Is there really no one like that in your life?"

He could tell by the almost mocking tone of her voice that she probably knew exactly where his thoughts fled to. A powerful connection with someone he hated? Of course he had such a thing.

"You're talking about Frieza, aren't you." It wasn't a question.

"I don't know his name, but I can tell there is someone in your life that you think about to the exclusion of all others. Someone whose fate you care about deeply. This relationship is what I would require in exchange for immortality."

"How can such a thing be accomplished?" he asked, horrified at the idea.

"That is not your concern. Simply be assured that it can, should you choose to accept my terms."

Vegeta stared at the food in front of him, trying to find the catch.

"What exactly would that mean, to give up this… relationship?"

She smiled, as though he were a particularly clever pupil she had great hopes of.

"Whatever past events you two shared, whatever drives you to the intense emotions you feel about the other person: all of that would be gone. You would no longer have any reason to feel anything at all about them."

"But—but that's absurd!" Vegeta protested as her meaning began to sink in. "What would be the point of gaining immortality if I can't even remember why I wanted it in the first place? This is bullshit!"

He stood swiftly, power flashing briefly, and he heard the boy whimper in fear. Yuuko remained as calm as ever, watching him with those eyes.

"The Earthlings told me that all they had to do is gather the seven dragon balls in one place and they could get any wish they wanted. Why should I bother paying a price when I can get what I want for free?"

"Tell me," she commanded. "How easy has it been for you, gathering these dragon balls?"

"Wha—I… There have been… obstacles…" he muttered.

"Every wish, whether I am the one to grant it or not, requires a price to be paid equal to the value of the thing desired. The effort one puts into gathering all seven of the dragon balls, scattered across the earth, is the price one pays for the wish the dragon grants."

"But even so!" he exclaimed. "No matter what obstacles stand between me and the dragon balls, that still can't possibly be on the same level as forgetting Frieza entirely! That's not equal at all!"

"No matter what obstacles?" she repeated softly. "Even if it was Frieza himself standing between you and them?"

Vegeta stared, open-mouthed. Yuuko went on.

"Everything in this world is controlled by fate. If what you want is nothing less than immortality itself, then the only way you will be able to have that wish granted is if you pay the price, whether you go through the dragon balls… or me."

Vegeta sat down. He was silent for a long moment, and then he looked up again.

"Am I really dreaming?" he asked, and she smiled her cat-smile again.

"It is probably better that you think so," she said. He frowned.

"I will have immortality," he said stubbornly. "I will. Make no mistake."

"Whether your wish is granted in the end or not, you really should try the sake. It's a fine vintage."

He shook his head at the proffered bottle.

"If you cannot give me what I want, then I am wasting my time." He stood, and made his way swiftly out. Watanuki remembered to breathe.

"That guy was dangerous!" he exclaimed, refilling Yuuko's empty cup. "It was like his power was something I could reach out and touch."

"And yet even he is not the most powerful in his world. Nor will he ever be."

Watanuki gulped, hearing the tones of prophecy in his boss's voice.

"I have a feeling we have not seen the last of him," Yuuko added.


	2. Pride

_"That guy was dangerous!" Watanuki exclaimed. "It was like his power was something I could reach out and touch."_

_"And yet even he is not the most powerful in his world. Nor will he ever be."_

_Watanuki gulped, hearing the tones of prophecy in his boss's voice._

_"I have a feeling we have not seen the last of him," Yuuko added._

* * *

><p>They hadn't.<p>

Vegeta frowned as he paused between skyscrapers in West City, high, round domes and tall towers on either side of a small, eastern-style building that looked somewhat familiar. Almost against his will he stepped forward into the courtyard, into the same summer's day, with the same young boy wearing the same silly kerchief, sweeping the same dust in the same courtyard.

Watanuki yelped and scrambled for the door, while Vegeta snorted and took another few steps forward, wondering idly how it could be sunny here when it was cloudy all over the rest of the city. The same tall, willowy woman stepped forward, but she was wearing a different kimono and her hair was styled differently.

"I didn't expect him back here so _soon_," the boy was whispering loudly to her, trying to stare at Vegeta without being obvious about it.

"It has been a lot longer for him," Yuuko answered, and then turned fully to Vegeta, "hasn't it, friend?"

He shrugged.

"Longer than a day," he said mildly. Yuuko's eyes narrowed fractionally as she studied him.

"Watanuki, two large bottles of scotch and a bottle of sake, please. And a plate of umeboshi and some dango."

The boy spluttered.

"I don't have the ingredients for dango! And it's way too early in the day for you to be drinking. And scotch doesn't go with umeboshi anyway!"

"Aww, but the scotch is for our guest," she whined. "And I like umeboshi. As for the dango, I suppose I can survive without some for now." She delicately placed the back of her wrist against her forehead, closing her eyes in weariness.

Vegeta rolled his eyes and hefted the plastic convenience store bag in his hand.

"I have dango here. You can have it if it will mean you don't perish from the privation of going without."

Yuuko clasped her hands and snatched the bag away, digging through it like a child on Christmas. "Oh, thank you! You're a life saver! It's even mango flavored, my favorite!"

Vegeta, who hated dango, snorted softly and turned away.

They settled on the porch out back, to enjoy the sunshine. Once Watanuki returned with the tray, Vegeta picked up one of the sour plums, looked at it curiously, and ate it. He felt his mouth pucker uncomfortably, and spat the pit out into the yard when Yuuko laughed at his expression. Watanuki yelped again when the pit hit a tree and made it shudder. The two little girls, who were helping him air out some laundry, danced under the sudden shower of leaves, giggling and singing. It was a homely, comforting scene, and it reminded him of the atmosphere of his own house, which he had just left under the pretense of buying a snack. The sensation of peace made his skin crawl just as it had back at Capsule Corp.

"What brings you here this time?" Yuuko said eventually, when Vegeta had nearly drained his first bottle of scotch. She was sipping a cup of sake, despite Watanuki's vocal concerns for her liver.

"This is no dream, is it," Vegeta said in answer, taking another swig straight from the bottle. It wasn't a question.

"Not precisely," the woman beside him answered, slowly eating her way down a skewer of dango. Vegeta took another umeboshi and didn't make a face this time.

"Then what is it?" he asked. Yuuko nibbled another ball of dango, eyes never leaving Vegeta's face.

"Think of this shop as existing in its own space and time," she said. "It is as real as your world, but it does not join up with it in the conventional way."

"Hn," Vegeta said. He didn't really care about the answer. He wasn't even sure why he'd asked the question. Habit, he supposed, and scowled at the thought. Small talk was a disgusting habit for a warrior to possess.

"I can see that you didn't get your first wish," Yuuko observed. "Was that by choice or circumstance?"

His scowl deepened.

"Both," he said shortly. "Neither. What business is it of yours?"

"It's not, I suppose," she said easily. "Just making small talk." He winced. "The real question is, what brings you here this time?"

He cracked open the second bottle of scotch and took a long pull from it. He could feel the yearning in him, less defined but no less intense than the burn that had brought him here before. He did have a wish, but he had no words to describe it.

"I'm sick of this place," he muttered into the bottle.

"You aren't talking about my shop," Yuuko said, and it was just enough like a question that he felt compelled to answer it.

"I'm talking about this whole miserable planet. I have never stayed in one place for so long, among the same people, doing the same things day in and day out. I'm losing my edge, I can _feel_ it!"

He knew the drink was starting to have an effect on him, but of far greater effect was finally putting to words the restless unease that had been plaguing him for years.

"No amount of pushups in the Gravity Room or sparring with my eight-year-old can make up for real battle and bloodshed! No amount of alcohol—" He gestured sharply with the bottle of scotch, "can compare to drinking the blood of my enemies and feasting on their flesh. Here I am only half myself. Less than that. I am the last of my kind. Even that clown Kakarrot is dead, leaving me bereft of the chance to regain my honor by surpassing him."

Vegeta downed the last of the scotch and threw the bottle at the fence, shattering it and embedding several shards of glass in the wood.

"My wish, witch?" he mumbled drunkenly to the grass. "I want my life back."

There was a long silence during which could be heard cicadas whining and the two girls giggling in the kitchen as Watanuki scolded Mokona for drinking too much. Yuuko set her empty cup of sake down on the tray with a clink, and Vegeta lay back on the porch where they sat and stared at the ceiling.

"I have a warning for you," she said finally, "as compensation for the dango. You obviously think of your life in two parts, Before and After, but it's hardly that simple. Your life is comprised of many befores and many afters, as lives tend to be, so my warning is this: think carefully about _which _life you are choosing before you commit to getting it back. Turning back time is always costly."

"What would your price be," Vegeta asked, after he had mulled that over, "to grant my wish?"

"The cost of a life is a life," she said simply. "All you have to do is give up your current life completely and you can have your old one back. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Vegeta was silent again.

"It's not that simple," he rumbled after a while, haunted by blue eyes.

"Oh, it's quite simple," Yuuko said. "But simple doesn't always mean easy."

Vegeta grabbed a handful of the sour plums and stuffed them into his mouth, and he chewed and swallowed them stoically even though they burned all the way down.


End file.
